It's Time To Think About Quitting (And Feel Ok About It)
"No one likes a quitter."
"Quitters never win and winners never quit."
Those are two of the more well-known quotes, but there is a gazillion out there. All designed to motivate you to persevere, push through, never give up.
You've heard these sayings most of your life. You've probably repeated these sayings to our kids or friends.
We have all heard stories of someone just on the edge of a breakthrough that thought about quitting but didn't, and wow, look at them now.
And to some extent, this advice has its place and purpose. We shouldn't go around quitting every time we have a setback or a bad day. There is no forward movement in life if we consistently hit the reset button.
But there comes a time when a person has just had enough. Whether it was a misguided career choice, an unhealthy relationship, or a self-destructive habit. Even things we start with the best of intentions and give our best shot sometimes go off the rails.
It's a delicate balance between knowing what's worth fighting for and knowing when to walk away.
Some of those decisions no one can make for you. You have to evaluate the benefit of the situation versus the cost it has on your mental, emotional, and even physical health. Your peace of mind ties directly into the well-being of your body. You need to seriously consider quitting anything that robs you of peace and joy.
And here are a few other things worth quitting.
Quit Living In The Past
We have all done and said things we wish we could take back. We have hurt people. We have made bad decisions. We may have even intentionally done something we regret terribly now.
But you have to stop living with those regrets. If you need to go to someone and make peace, then do that. If that water is too far under the bridge, then find a new body of water for your future.
Your past does not have to define or follow you.
This goes for if you were the one hurt. Pain, grief, loss, betrayal. Those are difficult setbacks to overcome. Prayer. Time. Therapy. Ask for, and get, the help you need. But quit reliving the hurt. And quit expecting the next person down the line to do the same thing to you.
You can push people away out of fear. And you might protect yourself from a certain amount of disappointment, but you will also miss out on a tremendous amount of love and friendships.
Learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Then quit living in the past and embrace your beautiful life.
Quit Being Your Own Worst Critic
Trust me, there are enough people around to point out your flaws and shortcomings. You don't need to join in the chorus.
Quit comparing yourself to others. Whether it is appearance, status, money, or position. Each of us has our own journey. You don't know everything they have gone through to 'get' what you think you want.
Determine your own standards and ideals. Work on ways to fulfill your own dreams. Give yourself a break when you stumble.
Of course, there will always be something you can improve. Make your health a priority. Get more organized. Make time for your loved ones. If there are legitimate things you can work on to be a better you, then make those choices. Not from the standpoint of a critic, but to improve your life and those you love.
Quit Allowing Yourself To Be Manipulated
Maybe you are a people pleaser and have a hard time saying no.
Maybe you feel trapped in a situation or relationship.
The people on the other side of the equation will soon pick up on the fact that they can get their way.
And they may even love you, but have learned how to shape the conversation to their benefit.
It might be passive-aggressive behavior, looking for sympathy, or even blatant manipulation.
And this, my friends, is a hard one. Once someone has used successfully used this tactic they will suddenly become confused and even offended when it stops working. They will ramp up their approach to get you back in line.
I struggle with this one, I'll be honest. I can tell you that firm boundaries are a must. And the road to control did not happen immediately, and it won't necessarily be an immediate fix. Especially if your goal is to salvage the friendship/relationship.
Start with the small nos. Work your way up. Have a hard conversation on the reasons you can no longer be their go-to for problem-solving. This may be your hardest quit, but I promise you the release from that burden will be the best reward.
Quit Being On The Fence
The most confusing place you will ever be is on the fence. Caught in limbo about a decision.
The origins of the phrase dealt with property fences. They defined ownership. So straddling a fence meant you were not completely on either property. There was no commitment to either side.
We use this phrase today when we can't settle on a choice. We have weighed our options so long, it's just a weight now.
It's time to quit sitting on the fence. Whatever 'it' is, make a decision.
Maybe you have invested in a new hobby, but are afraid of failing.
Maybe you have read a dozen self-help books, but not taken the steps.
Maybe your goals haven't been reached and you are questioning yourself.
Maybe you have filled out that job application but never hit the send button.
Maybe there is someone you want to ask out, but you are not sure they will say yes.
So, let's just be real.
Your first attempt at a new hobby will probably not be perfect.
Self-help books are suggestions, and they may not all work for you, but I guarantee none will work if you don't start.
Even with hard work, some goals are hard to obtain. Never question your decision to start. If you want/need a break, then take it. It will still be there when you want to come back.
Sending a job application doesn't mean you have to accept it. And even if they turn you down, it will feel good that you took the risk.
The same about asking someone out. Yes, they may say no. But they could also say yes. And a no isn't an indictment on you. They could have a dozen reasons that now (or you) are not right for them.
But you can't just stay on the fence. Either ask or risk never knowing.
Life is lived once you get off the fence.
It's Time To Think About Quitting
My Hopefuls, today I want you to seriously think about quitting.
Don't hang on to habits or relationships that drain you and damage your well-being. Take charge of your happiness and live your life on purpose. If this means walking away, then tie up those laces and get moving.
I would never encourage you to give up on people or situations that still need your patience and time. I'm not advocating for complete selfishness.
I'm trusting you to analyze the dynamics in your life and move forward with the ones worthy of your time and commitment and to QUIT those that aren't.
And as always....
Hope With Abandon