How To Clean Your Emotional Closet (4 Things To Toss This New Year)
Are you one of those who use the New Year to re-organize and throw out things you no longer want/use?
Do you spend hours going through drawers, cabinets, closets in an attempt to keep your life in order?
Is it your goal to cut down on the clutter and chaos and live a more minimalistic lifestyle?
If you actually achieve this let me how you did it! I'm terrible at it!
Did you know there are other 'things' you can get rid of as the New Year dawns that can make your life easier, more productive, and peaceful? Do you need to clean out your emotional closet? Those are things I CAN help you with. Read on!
Trim Your Friend's List
We all want to have friends and make connections. And for some, the number of 'friends' on their social media feels like an indicator of how popular and accepted they are. But that's not always the case.
It is super easy to hit the "Add" or "Follow" buttons. You do it for people you don't even know, and others do it as well. It is an easy (and mindless) activity to scroll through social media and see the posts, pictures, and comments of everyone on your list. But in reality, how productive or beneficial is that?
Social media stress is a real thing. Spending too much time 'invested' in the lives of others can not only be a waste of time but also affect your self-esteem. Most people don't have the perfect life they post about. And whether we realize it or not, we subconsciously compare our lives/stories/families with those on our newsfeed.
So I said all that to say, why not go through your friend's list and trim it down. Make it truly be friends and family that you desire to connect with. If you don't know them or have outgrown them, unfriend them. It's not a reflection of their value of a person, just who they are in your world.
And let's go one step further, and examine the 'real-time' friends you hang out with. Have you grown apart with some? Have circumstances or situations caused a rift? The word toxic is thrown around way too much, but sometimes there are just people who bring you down more than lift you up.
It is ok to limit your time and emotional resources on those who bring tension, hassle or drama into your life. You don't need a huge confrontation. Just quietly distance yourself and stick with those who truly value you.
Throw Out The Bad Attitudes
Just like you throw out the clothes in your closet that don't fit or are frayed and torn, it's time to throw out those destructive attitudes.
It is often true that we are our own worse enemies. The things we say to ourselves is usually way more damaging than the things said by others.
Let's start the new year by throwing out negative self-talk and harmful attitudes.
Stop saying: I CAN'T. No, you probably can't do everything, No one can. But you are stronger and more resilient than you give yourself credit for. Try it out and see for yourself.
Stop saying: I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH. You are not broken. Yes, there may be a few cracks, bruises (or in my case, age spots), but you are worthy of love, joy and acceptance. Everyone's journey is different, but no one gets out unscathed. Be proud of your scars and the lessons they taught you.
Don't judge others for what you don't know about them, and don't allow someone to judge you for what they don't know.
Steer clear of jealousy. If you have a valid reason not to trust someone, then don't trust THEM. Don't punish everyone else in the process. And for those who appear to have it better or easier, be happy for them. Jealousy is a very bad look.
Stop playing the victim. It is true that someone may have wronged you. Pick up the pieces and move on. Don't milk it for sympathy or attention. That stunts your emotional growth. And sometimes what we claim as bad luck is simply consequences for mistakes or bad choices. Own both the good and bad decisions and keep moving forward.
Let Go Of The Past
Nothing clogs up your life's closet like excess emotional baggage. Dig it out and let it go.
Forgive those who hurt you. What if they don't ask for it? Doesn't matter. It's for YOU and your peace of mind; not theirs.
Forgive yourself for mistakes. Seriously, I've done so many things the wrong way. But I can't wallow around feeling defeated. We all have to dust ourselves off and move forward. You will never be perfect. But you must always be persistent.
Move on from people, events or situations that you can't fix or control. An abusive relationship. A dead-end job. Fear of failure. Make healthy decisions for your future that include self-love, self-care and plenty of love for those who support and encourage you.
Change Your Definition Of Happiness
As the world around us spirals frantically in so many directions, we are left to try and keep up. The Most. The Best. The Top. The Biggest. If we just get 'IT', we will be happy.
Yeah, see, that never works. Because there is always the next thing down the line.
For this new year, change the way you define happiness.
Things won't make you happy; experiences will.
People won't always make you happy; memories will.
Status won't make you happy; personal accomplishments will.
A clear mind. A full heart. A calm spirit. THOSE will reshape your view of happiness.
And Happiness is what I wish for you!
My Hopefuls, I wish for each of you a year filled with love, joy, and especially HOPE.
I know each day won't look or feel like the best day ever. But each day is a blessing. Each day is an opportunity. And each day offers you the chance to be kind, do good, and make a difference.
Clean out your emotional closet of anything that weighs you down, stops your creativity, stifles your spirit, or chokes out your love. Keep it open for all the good things this year will bring you!
And, as always......
Hope With Abandon!