6 Ways To Break-Up Like A Grown-Up


Being dumped absolutely ranks up there as one of life's most distressing moments.


Emotions run high and thoughts and energies go into overdrive. When we are young and heartbroken we often say and do things that are impulsive, harmful, and eventually regret.


I have been ghosted, dumped the day before Valentine's Day, and surprised my boyfriend while he was making his famous homemade chocolate pie. (Which was not for me, but was his go-to second date way-to-impress ploy.) I've been played and betrayed. So trust me when I say I understand the associated feelings.


Maybe you are the one ending the relationship. That can be difficult too. People stay in dead end situations from fear of starting over, due to pressure from others to stick it out, or just not wanting to hurt someone. Even when something bad happens, and you know it's time to go, taking that first step is tricky.


And being older doesn't make a break-up any easier. Age doesn't shield us from the trauma of it all.


The reality is, there is no age limit on when a relationship can end. We are not exempt from the pain of a breakup just because we've had more birthdays behind us. Emotions don't typically dampen with age.


But age should bring a measure of maturity. Should. But, yeah, not always.


And after a certain age (let's say 29.5) your responses should reflect that and your decisions made from a place of doing what is best for you to move on with grace and empowerment.


So, I've put together a few things that I think will help all of us navigate a breakup like a grown-up.


1. Be Honest


You are never doing yourself or your partner any favors by prolonging the inevitable.


When it's time to have the hard conversation, suck it up and have it. You don't have to be mean and degrading, just speak your truth.


Don't just hide or walk away. Don't try to make them so miserable that they leave. Don't do it by text.

Have a mature conversation where you say it's time for you to move on.


Depending on the type of relationship, there may be other things that must be said or decided, but always focus on the truth and conduct yourself the way you would like to be treated.


2. Allow Time For Emotions To Settle


Whether the decision was yours, or was made for you, allow some time for the emotions to settle.


There will likely be tears. Maybe anger. Accusations. Allow the other person to vent and express their feelings. You don't have to stick around to be abused, but let them feel like they had their say.


Then let some time pass. If there are issues that still need to be resolved, allowing some space for the initial emotional response to cool down will help keep both parties more level-headed.


You can't control the reactions or behaviors of another, but you can choose to handle things the right way. Be fair. Be respectful.


On a side note - leave them alone. No late night pity calls. No begging to come back texts. No showing up at their home or work 'just to talk'. When it's done; it's done. No looking (or going) back.


If they have made the decision to move on - accept it.


If you made the decision to move on - move!


3. Don't Seek Revenge


The most natural human response when someone hurts us is to hurt them back. An eye for an eye. Don't waste your time.


Resist the urge to share intimate details/photos, etc. (If I might make a suggestion - never give anyone ammunition that could be used against you one day ie: photos and/or explicit text.)


Never intentionally hurt, embarrass or shame your ex.


The truth is, it rarely works as intended. And YOU end up looking foolish and pathetic.


On the rare occasion you succeed, I promise it will not feel as good as you hoped. It is hollow and stale. I didn't coin the phrase, but it is true nonetheless:

The best revenge is to move on and be happy.


4. Limit The Social Media Blitz